Wednesday, December 1, 2010

2010 Banter



     Calven Rosenthal October 24 at 3:15pm Reply • Report
     Can you feel it? The cool breeze, muggy fog, the damp ground, and Jeff face down in the mud while Calven goes down the field and makes another touchdown. Oh yes, Turkey Bowl is almost here. I felt that I should begin this wonderful day with a warning. There's still a Rosenthal in the game. Jeff learn from Brett Favre and just stay retired and stop embarrassing yourself.
     Brad Rosenthal October 24 at 3:18pm
     I am so proud.
     Steve Carson October 25 at 10:34am Reply • Report
     Excellent Calven, excellent. A very good TB smack offering.
     Steve Carson October 25 at 4:21pm Reply • Report
     Calven, I further salute you for not once using the term "plumber" or "emergency" in your TB commentary. For so many years, the only TB talk offered from the Rosenthal camp revolved around those two words. Quite a refreshing change, keep up the good work.
     Calven Rosenthal October 25 at 6:45pm Reply • Report
     I'm glad to bring honor back to the name ha.
           Steve Carson November 22 at 9:54am Reply • Report
          All details once again remain the same for the TB.

Day : Thanksgiving
Time : 8:30AM
Place: Heller Park
     Brad Rosenthal November 22 at 1:31pm
     Steve Carson November 24 at 2:24pm Reply • Report
     Come on Jeff, we're less than 24 hours away and no comments. Dig    deep and give us a gem.
     Richard Carson November 24 at 2:52pm Reply • Report
     If he digs too deep, he will likely give us a booger.
     Steve Carson November 24 at 3:32pm Reply • Report
     We may not even get that out of him. He may have already "hermitized" himself, locked away in a dark room, mentally preparing for the game.
     Calven Rosenthal November 24 at 3:47pm Reply • Report
     maybe this year he understands that he really has to try and play against me.
     Jeff Howard November 24 at 4:07pm Reply • Report

     Tulsa, OK – In a shocking announcement heard ‘round the world, perennial Turkey Bowl fan favorite Jeff “L Turner” Howard called a hasty press conference to announce his immediate retirement from football.

The lanky Howard broke onto the backyard football scene in the early 80’s during the hardnosed tackle era when the game was played in smaller venues and remained a force on the field throughout the later sissifcation years. The transition from tackle to flag football, or as some called it “fag football”, proved difficult for many of his peers, most notable Richard “Water Buffalo” Carson, but Howard easily adapted to the quicker, less
physical game. Equally adept on both sides of the ball, Howard had a nose for the ball, often stripping the pigskin from an opposing runner or leaping high for a Hail Mary touchdown.

Wearing his trademark 83, Howard read a brief prepared statement and took questions from the assembled media.

“It is with a heavy heart that I officially announce my retirement from the game I’ve loved for almost 30 years. I know it’s a cliché, but I wanted to go out a winner. With my string of 4 Turkey Bowl victories I felt it best to walk away now and leave it to the youngsters coming up through the ranks. Thank you and God Bless you all

The crowd stood and applauded for almost two minutes. Howard was visibly shaken as he stepped away from the microphone, and wiped the tears away from his face with his handkerchief. It was one of the most touching scenes ever witnessed on a ball field and even many of the hard-boiled reporters in attendance were seen wiping their eyes afterwards

After gathering his composure, Howard took questions from the media and tried to explain his abrupt decision. “I didn’t ever want to be “that guy” who stays long after his prime, guys like the Carson brothers, Blair Burch,
Matt P., Rosiethal, Slowcum, they all made a different decision and I respect that, but I can’t step onto the field unless I know I’m going to perform at the absolute highest level.”

“He’s old school and I’m going to miss him,” said one fan. “It’s not going to be the same without L Turner flashing across the field!”

Another younger fan expressed a different sentiment. “I think he’s just afraid of being too old to keep up. The guy’s slow, can’t run routes, and has bricks for hands. I’m amazed he lasted as long as he did. I’d take Rosenthal over him any day. The young one though. Not the old one”

Rosenthal refers to Calven Rosenthal, son of ex-player Brad, who made quite a splash a few years ago in his Turkey Bowl debut. While the younger Rosenthal is still an unproven commodity, he appears to have the talent
his father lacked. The potential is there for him to have a promising career if he can avoid the “Plumber syndrome” and fear of contact that plagued his father.

But this day belonged to Howard. “Look, let’s be honest here. I never played a down of organized football. I learned the game the hard way, on my own. Now days these kids practice. Can you believe that? They’re working in the off season, two a days, coaches, equipment. Is it any wonder they’re
competing at a higher level than we ever dreamed of? I realized a few years ago that the game had passed me by, Hell passed us all by, but I seemed to be the only one willing to admit it. So to save myself the embarrassment, and possibly injury in my advancing years I didn’t really have a choice. But let’s be clear here. I have nothing but great memories. I made a lot of great friends along the way. I can’t complain. Thank you.”

And with that he turned and walked away, giving us one last look at the L Turner name that has been seen by so many opposing players giving chase as he raced down the field and into the end zone.
    Brad Rosenthal November 24 at 4:41pm
     Yeah...yeah...Celeste just over taxed the garbage disposal with potato peels...I've got to call someone to get this fixed...hope they can come tonight....
      Jeff Howard November 24 at 5:25pm Reply • Report
     Yesh I'm sure he can come tonight!
     Richard Carson November 24 at 5:59pm Reply • Report
     After the press conference, a small child was heard repeating "Say it ain't so, Joe". Even at the end of his career, fans continue to confuse Howard with another veteran Turkey Bowl-er, Joe Dutton.
     Calven Rosenthal November 24 at 8:54pm Reply • Report
     The era of the Rosenthal has begun...the name shall be relived.
     Jeff Howard November 24 at 11:18pm Reply • Report
     You boys better wear your waders tomorrow morning while I'm enjoying my nice warm bed!
     Jeff Howard November 25 at 11:43am Reply • Report
     So how did it go? I bet Calven dominated the game, right? Glad I wasn't there to experience the humiliation of his MVP performance. Wow, maybe we should just retire the game since he's such a Turkey Bowl legend already. Just sayin...
     Jeff Howard November 26 at 11:07am Reply • Report
     AP, Tulsa, OK - Frigid temps and blustery winds greeted the Turkey Day faithful who gathered this day, and as the morning sun peaked through overcast skies, many hoped to see the dawning of a new era the Turnkey Bowl history. Some waved hand drawn signs; others talked excitedly as they waited with heightened anticipation.

One by one, the combatants appeared from the tunnel and gathered in a cluster on the sideline. Familiar names like Carson, Bunch, Yocum, Provinsal, and yes even Reed, but the crowd held its collective breath waiting, watching.

Suddenly a stately, dignified figure emerged from the shadows, and the crowd ejaculated their approval. It was Brad Rosenthal, and even at this age still appeared to be in top playing shape, but the camera around his neck told a different story. A career ending injury has forced Rosenthal to the sidelines where he now spent his time capturing the gridiron action for posterity.

Rosenthal's appearance had only heightened the tension in the stands, for most in attendance were there to see not the elder Rosenthal, but his young prodigy, Calven. As Brad limped towards the others on the field, the crowd broke into a spontaneous chant "Calven", "Calven", "Calven".

The chanting continued for at least 10 minutes while the old timers finished their greetings and began warming up down on the field. Many fans had no doubt read, or at least been told of, the younger Rosenthal's proclamation that the "... era of the Rosenthal has begun...the name shall be relived."

It was this boldness, this brashness that attracted fans like moths to a light. Pair that with a level of raw talent that even surpassed his father's and it was no wonder that Calven had taken on an almost mythical status to many in this depressed, blue-collar town. He gave them hope. He gave them something they had been missing for years - a reason to care again. They could accept the layoffs, the soup lines, the evictions, and even the hunger pains as long as they had a hero in Rosenthal. The relationship between fan and player transcended the game of football. It was about life itself.

Gradually the chanting faded as players were drafted for opposing teams. The fans grew uneasy. The whistle sounded, and with little fanfare another Turkey Bowl was afoot.

By the end of the first series of football, most fans had filed out of the stadium and returned to the bleakness of real life. That bleakness now seemed even deeper with one unanswered question. Where was Calven Rosenthal? Why had he let them down after making such a brash prediction the day before? Some speculated he couldn't withstand the immense pressure of playing in his father's shadow. Still others wondered if lacked the heart of a real champion. A few claimed he had been abducted by a rival mob and was being held in an abandoned factory outside of town until after the game.

In any even, life must trudge on. The game concluded in font of a handful of faithful fans, and the players exchanged handshakes and well wishes. Soon the field was lonely and desolate, much like the hopes and dreams of so many who had come to see The One.

One can only ponder the meaning of it all, but I too was taken in by the promise of greatness. Now I am just left with that familiar adage burning in my mind:

"One man's plumber is another man's icy windshield."
     Jeff Howard November 28 at 10:53pm Reply • Report
     Look what I found on YouTube!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRcqBxmbqlU
Calven talks smack to Jeff for Turkey Bowl 2010
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     Kenny Yocum November 28 at 10:59pm Reply • Report
     Quite entertaining.
     Jeff Howard November 28 at 11:00pm Reply • Report
     Here's the one I meant to post.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oVJ7oaV6oU
Calven talks smack to Jeff about the 2010 Turkey Bowl.
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     Richard Carson November 29 at 9:10am Reply • Report
     That is hilarious.
     Steve Carson November 29 at 4:41pm Reply • Report
     Very funny. Jeff, you've out done yourself this year.
     Calven Rosenthal November 29 at 10:25pm Reply • Report
     The incidents regarding my absence from the Turkey Bowl have been grossly misstated. I'm sure, at this point you've all seen this on the news, but just in case, you'll want to watch this press conference...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=98mXx032iuI
Calven Rosenthal explains his unfortunate absence from the 2010 Turkey Bowl.
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     Kenny Yocum November 29 at 10:29pm Reply • Report
     Nice, I really liked the tears.
     Richard Carson November 29 at 11:00pm Reply • Report
     I take back all of the things I said about this hero.
     Steve Carson December 1 at 5:43pm Reply • Report
     Very touching. After seeing that, we may have to change the Pu$$y of the Year award we bestowed upon Calven at this years TB to Humanitarian of the Year.